Genetic Improvement

From somewhere sometime ago, I read that people are unconsciously attracted to people who are better capable of providing for them and improving the gene pool. (Of course, it was said in a more scientific tone that you’d think of it as a geeky thing.) Apparently, there is a reason why all women want the gorgeous and rich guy – and it’s not just because she’s shallow-minded.

But I suppose that’s not the important question. I mean, there’s no mystery why women would be salivating after Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Chris Noth. What should be the subject of extensive scientific experimentation is this: Why do the gorgeous  get attracted to the not-so-blessed-in-the-looks-department- kind of people? If genetic improvement is the reason why most people want to marry good-looking people, what’s the reason why the latter would want to be with fugly people?

I remember back when I was in college. Beauty pageants, whether for male and/or female, were a common thing. Every department had their own contest. Whoever would win Mr. or Ms. so and so department would vie for the ultimate Mr. and Ms. so and so university. My friends and I went to see who won as Mr. and Ms. University. Of course, it’s to be expected that they’re heavenly. Being the girls that we are, we salivated after the guy. We hunted him down and learned that he was taking up medicine. (I’ve noticed this, and my friends would agree, good looking guys – especially men- tend to enroll in medicine. Why is this?!) We also found out that he had a girlfriend – no shocker there. But what almost sent us picketing in front of the medicine building was when we saw his girlfriend. She was in no way equal to his beauty. In fact, if they mated, I think she would be solely responsible for bringing the gene pool back to ice age.

Alright, maybe that’s a bit cruel. But the truth hurts, anyway. So…

I suppose the reason why my friends were crying “foul!” and pulling at our hair and gnashing our teeth like we’ve just been delivered severe injustice is because we knew we were honestly better looking than that girl and yet he picked her.

But then again, we couldn’t really blame him. Haven’t been there times when we’ve found ourselves equally smitten with guys whom we would’ve sworn we’d never touch with a ten-foot pole? Certainly, we’ve been similarly situated at one point in our lives.

I remember some time ago, I met this guy. He was shorter than my by five inches (and I’m just average height) ,  a little average looking and not so fashionable. He hung out with my friends so I was forced to get to know him. I mentally swore that this was not the kind of guy I’d like to end up with. But he turned out to be funny, smart and really sweet. Before I knew it, I was beginning to break my mental promise to myself. I started imagining a life with him — other than just being friends.

It turns out, however, that he really wasn’t the one I’d end up with. Whether that was a conscious or unconscious choice, I couldn’t tell. But what I really want to know is this: how would that have improved the gene pool? I know, it didn’t really happen, him and me. But what if we did?

Maybe there’s really more to being or getting into relationships than just scientific theories/hypothesis.

 

Wisdom from a Winnie the Pooh notebook

Last Sunday, I tried bargain hunting. There’s a shop near where I live that sells cheap products, everything from clothing to food. Of course, not all of it has good quality. After all, these are bargain stuff, although all of them are brand new. The trick is to find one that’s good enough at an amazingly low price.

While going through the stocks, I found myself along the aisle of Winnie the Pooh notebooks. There were some with really nice prints which also came with a cute (as in tiny) pen. As I rummaged through the notebooks, one caught my attention. On the front was printed “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Usually, one would find lousy phrases and slogans in broken english on cheap products. I inspected the notebook to find a flaw in its quality but there was none.

Based on the printed words alone, I bought the notebook without even knowing what to use it for.

When I got home, I looked at the notebook again. “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” It made me think of those times in my life when I’d grieved over things that have passed: a relative, a romantic relationship, a friendship, even a t.v. series. I was so into “Sex and the City” at one point in my life. When it ended, I felt like a part of me was lost (hehe). I suppose back then, what I had in mind was “Good things never last.”

Losing almost always evokes a negative thought. Perhaps, the only moment it doesn’t is when weight is what is lost. In that case, it is definitely a positive thing.

I thought back to the time when I had a particular friend. Before I met him, I’ve never heard of the idea of platonic relationships. After I met him, I was convinced it doesn’t exist — at least not in my case.

At the time we met, I really didn’t mind him so much. But soon enough, I found myself liking him a little too much. I got so conscious around him I couldn’t act normally anymore. I guess it was only a matter of time before our friendship dissolved. At that time, I scolded myself for ruining our friendship. He was such a wonderful person, I should’ve just contented myself with friendship.

While I didn’t really cry profusely over that, I still felt bad about losing him. Even though we patched things up later on in our lives, it was never the same. I’d already lost our friendship. “My Bestfriend’s Wedding” was the theme of my life back then (although I could only wish to look like Julia Roberts’ foot).

Now that I look back on it, I find myself smiling just a little bit. Despite such tragedy, there was still a positive outcome, no matter how small it may be. I suppose the point is that I met him and we became friends, even for a short while. Sometimes, unrequited “like” is still better than no “like” at all.

 

Getting lost in the past all over again…

There are moments in your life that you can’t help but relive over and over again, no matter how long ago they are. It’s like getting together with high school or college classmates. You never fail to remember that time you almost got caught cheating because your friend was not the discreet type or that time when you tried smoking in the girl’s room. And there there are those memories that you just can’t bring up with any other person except the person you shared it with. It’s a secret memory filled with secret emotions. Sometimes you just want to come clean and confess everything, just to see if it would make a difference. You think that maybe, just maybe, if you’d said it, if you’d shown it, if you’d done something about it, maybe life would be different.

Whenever I catch myself rummaging through my past every now and then, sometimes I can’t help thinking about where I would be and who I would be if I did things differently. Maybe if I’d married back right after college, I’d just be another housewife. Or maybe, if I hadn’t gotten in a relationship so early in law school, maybe I’d have been with other people. But then, when I think of the way my life has turned, I can’t really say that I regret anything I’ve done so far.

 

Hurts so good

And so it came upon a cold summer night, the music was slow and sad. All those entombed emotions came flooding back, demanding acknowledgment and pleading for closure … a closure one will never have. But sometimes, words are better left unsaid. For words can ruin the moment, take away that glow in your eyes and bring you tears instead. Be content with that tender bittersweet emotion, finding root in the contradictions you have successfully mired yourself in. Sometimes, somethings are better left for the imagination. Reality is a buzz-killer. Let the perfect ending remain instead in your mind where the happy ever after never ends, where you can relive the past over and over again.

In the mind, one can relive a night much like this one, when 2 people swore never to grow apart. In the mind, that night would have never seen the rising sun. In the mind, that promise would have never been broken by 3 simple words: “Di pde pre.”

*February 13, 2007.